Nickey's Nitro Rant for October 23, 2000

Wellcome back fans. Well here we are at week number two of this column. Enjoy!

Nitro starts off with The Perfect Event (Stasiak and Polumbo) with "Coach" Nash.

Nash has a red hat on to cover up his orange hair. Thank God!

Perfect Event argue with one another in the ring. What else is new?? God these two should just kiss and make up alrady **grin**

The Harris Brothers come to the ring

The Harris brothers prove that they are brawlers. Polumbo tries to tag in Stasiak a couple times. Stasiak refuses, then climbs off the ring apron to feed Polumbo to wolves so to speak. The Harris Brothers apply the H Bomb on Polumbo and get the win.

After the Harris Brothers leave the ring, Coach Nash gets in and roughs up Stasiak. He then takes off his hat. Dear God, Orange Hair with GREY Roots. Damn, you would think he could have at least covered up that grey. Good God Almighty.

Nash gets out of the ring and tells the announce team that Stasiak is going to learn some tough love later on tonight

Pamela "I refused to job in a bikini contest, even though my outfit wasn't a bikini and Tylene looked WAY better than me" Paulshock interviews Mike Sanders. He flirts with Pamela and then talks trash about The Cat, pointless segment.

Mean Gene is in the ring. He introduces WCW Champ, Booker T. Huge pop for this man as he makes his way down the aisle. Booker T talks about how much he loves the fans. Gene mentions Halloween Havoc, the PPV coming up in six days. Booker says as a wrestler he respects Steiner, but then he says Steiner sucks as a man! Talks about his up and coming match against Steiner at the Pay Per View. He closes with "Don't Hate the Player, Hate The Game!"

Sirens blare, as Steiner and Midajah, who looks ALMOST as good as Tylene, stands on the entrance way. He cracks on Booker's mother An then talks about the match at the Pay Per View.

Booker says " I know the fans want to see this, so let's not wait until the Pay Per View. let's get it on right here."

Steiner makes his way down the aisle, as Booker makes his way up the aisle. Jeff Jarrett comes out of no where and attacks Booker T. They drag him to the ring and double team him. Sting's music blares through the arena and he makes his way to the ring. Soon the locker room empties as the Filthy Animals, Dancing Fools, Awesome, Natural Born Thrillers, and many others (ring was too full to tell who all was there) Awesome went after Steiner. They had most of the men in the ring trying ot seperate them.

Pam interiviews Steiner. He does some incoherent yelling and babbling, and then begins to baa like a sheep. Um...okay.

Mike Sanders makes his way to the ring with a boxing helmet on his head, and gets in the ring, he gets the mic and talks about The Cat some more.

Young Dragons with Leia "I did a striptease in ECW" Meow make thier way to the ring. Sanders puts some kind of liquid on his glovs, and then by cheating of course, takes out the entier team of Jung Dragons, one by one. Leia hops in the ring and kicks sanders down below from behind. He undoes his pants and pulls out his protective cup. He sprays it with the clear liquid, and has Leia cornered. He is about to put that cup over her face, when Ms. Jones (looking VERY nice I might add) makes her way to the ring. She has Sanders distracted. He then turns around and reiceives a sidekick from The Cat.

Kronic comes down to the ring.

Jo, I know you have to be happy watching this.

Brain Adams takes the mic, and says that this thing between them and Boringberg started off as business. He also states that Boringberg has a huge ego. Now there is a surprise, I think I am going to have a heart attack from that surprise. Bryan Clarck gets the mic and mentions that they have been hired by Three Count.

Three Count comes to the ring. They get the mic and says they will play thier song. Kronic says Three Count didn't give them enough money for them to listen to Three Count's music. The big men then destroy Three Count in the ring.

Did anyone else have APA/Kiaentia flashbacks in their minds besides me when they saw this segment??

Pam is interview Big Sexy Orange Hair with Grey Roots. He talks about Hall geting fired. HUGE pop from the audience at the mention of Hall's name. He then says that the Outsiders weren't just a gimick, and that they Outsiders would run together agian. I'm thinking we will see these two in the WWF before the year is over. He then mentions that he has plans for Polumbo tonight.

Team Canada's music plays. I pop huge , thinking Tylene will be coming to the ring. MIA comes out dressed a Team Canada. Rection was Lance Storm, Loco was Elix Skipper, A Wall was Duggan, and Cajun was a moose. This segment was funny as hell. I never thought A Wall had a sence of humer. He did a GREAT Duggan. And Cajun's moose ears hat had me thinking to Rocky. As in Rocky and Bullwinkle. This reminded me of the skits DX used to do. I'm laughing so hard at this I'm pratically crying. Rection then takes off his toupe and then says that MIA will take back the US Title, will take back Major Gunns, and if Team Canada didn't know, it, they already took Team Canada's diginty.

Pam interviews Awsome, he makes a pass at her, then accepts Steiner's challange for a match that night. Steiner must have made that challange during his babbling and sheep baa-ing.

Coach Orange Hair with Grey Roots, along with the Natural Born Thrillers make their way to the ring, They get in the ring and Nash mentions Hall's name again. MEGA HUGE pop! Mark "I ate all the donuts" Madden says "A man that get's a pop that big should be here." For once, I agree with him. WCW made a mistake by letting Hall go. Nash says that the Outsiders were arguably the best Tag Teams champions ever. Yet another HUGE pop. He then tells Stasiak since he wants to be a loner, tonight they will let him be alone.

Boringberg's music plays as he makes his way to the ring.

I'm not even going to comment on this match, to me there was no match. A match has to be longer than two damn minutes to be a match.

Boringbeg takes the mic, and I go get a bite to eat.

Dancing Fools come to the ring and Disco (I hate the new spelling of his name) gets the mic. He states that he and ALex are conducting an investigation. What are they investigating?? They want to know who let the dogs out and where are they. The camera shows a shot of the audience. They have a mixure of absolute confusion and sheer bordom on their faces. No lie!! I died laughing at that folks.

Jindrak and O'Haire make thier way to the ring.

Rey Jr, Kidman, and Tygress make their way to the ring. Tygress is hanging on one of Kidman's arms, while Rey is hanging onto the other. Can you say threesome fic here?? **grin**

The match between Kidman, Alex Wright, and Jindrak begins. Too many people everywhere to see what all the action is. Kidman wins it with what he calls the Kidman Krusher. After the match, all six men are in the ring and brawling with one another. Soon, just Rey and Kidman are in the ring, and Tygress is on the apron.

Pam is interviewing Crowbar. He is informed by Jimmy Hart that he has a match coming up.

Crowbar comes out to the ring in his 70's garb. I miss Daffeny. I hate this gimic for Crowbar. He needs to be the insane Crowbar he should be.

Vampiro makes his way to the ring! VAMPIRO has RETURNED!

Oh My Damn, what a match these two put on. Wow. Words can't even descibe it. It was a cross between brawling and wreslting. I swear this was a hardcore match. The match ended up in the DJ Ran section. The two men are on DJ Ran's stage. All of the sudden two individuals with black robes and black hoods bring two tables to where Crowbar and Vampiro are. Vampiro puts Crowbar through the table, and Charles Robinson calls for the bell.

Vampiro then grabs the mic and challanges Mike Awesome to a match at Halloween Havoc.

The Filthy Animals music plays as Konnan and Tygress make their way to the ring. Konnan does his "Yo Yo Yo, where my dogs at?" speel. He then tells Disco to not worry about who let dogs out, but to worry about where his talent is. He then tells Shane Douglas to bring Torrie down to the ring so they can start the match.

Shane "I'm a Franchise in my own mind" Douglas and Torrie Wilson make their way to the ring. Shane has a cast on his arm. They get in the ring, and Torrie gets on the mic. Oh god, that voice of hers is the equivalant to nails on a chalkboard. Shane calls Konnan "Carlos". He also states that his injury is real. Konnan says "Just like Torrie, you are just a big bitch". I died laughing here. Konnan then grabs Shane and yells in his face, he says he talked to the trainer in the back and was told that Shane's injury is legit, and that he will see him at the Pay Per View.

Konnon turns his back to go and Douglas attacks him. Big mistake. Konnan basically manhandles Douglas until Torrie wraps a chain around Douglas's good hand while the ref and Konnan isn't looking. Douglas nails Konnnan with it a few times, and gets the win.

A small catfight breaks out between Tygress and Torrie on the outside. I pop huge. I'm still hoping for someone to write a Tygress/Torrie fic **grin** Douglas gets in between the two ladies and is about to go after Tygress when Kidman and Rey come down for the save.

Steiner and Midajah, who looks ALMOST as good as Tylene, make their way to the ring with a real tiger. Man has an animal fetich tonight. He hands the Tiger's leash over to a woman I sespect to be the Tiger's trainer. He pets it on the head a couple times then him and Midajah climb in the ring.

Mike comes down the ring, looking like an oversized David Cassity.

Booker T comes down the aisle and sits at the announce table.

The match begins. It looks like a pretty even match. Awesome tries to powerbomb Steiner, but Midajah holds the leg. Referee is distracted, and Steiner hits him with the lead pipe. Stiener then does a Samoan drop, and applies the Steiner Recliner. Match over. You can tell Russo didn't do this card, the main even did NOT end in a screwjob. Booker T sits at the announce table and looks concerend as the show goes off.

a note about Nitro: Team Canada did not appear on Nitro, so that meant no Tylene. :(

On another note, the announce team made very respectable comments about the pasing of Yokozuna.

Until next week....