Nickey's Nitro Rant for October 16, 2000

Ok seeing how alot of people do WWF RAW, I notice not too many give their comments on Nitro, so here goes.

Nitro starts off with the Dancing Fools coming out. They get in the ring and Alex "Berlyn" Wright tries to talk, but who knows what he said. Disquo (Why he changed the spelling of his name I have no clue) gets the mic from him. He says this match is a rematch, and that Natural Born Thrillers are banned from Ringside.

Jindrak and O'Haire come out. The match is on, and already I'm half asleep. The only thing keeping me awake is Mark Madden's god awful annoying voice.Kronic comes out and Destroys the Dancing Fools. Match over.

Jo, I know you had to be happy to see Brian on there :)

Stasiack, Polumbo, Sanders and Nash discuss taking over WCW. Nash tells them he is hungover and tells Sanders not to put him in any matches for that night.

What the hell happend to Nash's hair?? If I were him, I would hunt down the person that did that hideous dye job and torture them. I mean it looks friggin orange!

We are in the hallway and Sanders and Cat argue. Sanders books Sting vs. Nash (after Nash just got done telling him NOT to put him in any matches). Cat says he's making that match a lumberjack match.

Team Canada (w/TYLENE, aka MAJOR GUNNS) come to the ring. Lance rips on Australia, and the crowd boos him. He get his cheap heel heat. Tylene looks damn good, as always. MIA come to the ring for the match. Match starts, I have no clue what is going on, too busy looking at Tylene. She throws a chair in for Cajun to use. It backfires. Candian Mapleleaf. Match over.

Sting arvies.

Shane Douglas and Torrie arrive to the ring. I wonder if she looked in a mirror before she went to the ring. Damn WCW has some ugly ass clothes in the women's wardrobe department.

Shane "I'm a Franchise In My Own Mind" Douglas rips on Austraila to get cheap heel heet. Um didn't Lance just get done doing that?? I guess Douglas is out of heel heat ideas. He calls out the Filthy Animals for a Handicapped match.

Konnan, Rey, and Tygress come out and they all attack Douglas. Tygress gives Douglas a bronco buster, then Rey and Tygress give Douglas a double-bronco buster, and I'm hoping someone writes a Douglas/Rey Jr/Tygress fic. Filthy Animals has the upper hand till Douglas pulls either mace or pepper spray and sprays Rey and Konnan to it. Douglas and Torrie double team Tygress, and I'm hoping for a Torrie/Tygress fic **grin** Torrie gets some handcuffs out (She looks like the type who would enjoy that kinda stuff **grin** :) and handcuffs Konnan to the ring ropes. Douglas beats up on Rey, and they leave the ring.

The Perfect Event is arguing in the back. Big Sexy Orange Hair makes them shake hands and be friends.

Booker T arrives to the arena.

Those 70's guys come to the ring. For some reason, with his hair styled like that, Mike Awesome reminds me of a young Roddy Piper.

The Perfect Event make their way to the ring, stil arguing. We all know they will kiss and make up later **grin**

The match is on, Perfect Event fued with each other the whole time. Coach Orange Hair is doing color commentary with Tony, Stevie Ray, and Mark "I ate all the donuts" Madden.

Didn't pay much attention to this match, hell it almost put me to sleep. Those 70's Guys win. They head to the back. Perfect Event stay in ring and bicker. Awwww a lover's quarrel. Orange Hair gets in the ring, and makes them hug. And slash fic writes sigh and smile. **grin**

Pamela "I refused to job in a bikini contest, even though my outfit wasn't a bikini and Tylene looked WAY better than me" Paulshock interviewd Torrie and Douglas. Douglas said that he was tired of being thrown crumbs and was calling out Booker that night on Nitro. Torrie calls Pam a bitch, Pam tells Torrie it takes one to know one. I'm hoping for a feud here folks. Also they bleeped ass, but not bitch?? Anyone wonder why that is??

David Flair tells Sanders he wants Bagwell at Halloween Havoc in a DNA MATCH!?!?! I swear these gimmick matches are getting more and more rediculous.

Kee-Wee and Paisley make their way to the ring. Question: Why is Kee-Wee not in any slash fics?? A man who comes out wearing the clothes he does deserves to be in slash. No damn lie. They get to the apron, kiss and then look in camera. Donnie and Marie Osmand's show they had back in the 70's flashes through my mind.

Johnny "The Bull" comes to the rimg. The match is all of five seconds long with Kee-Wee getting the win.

Cat's music plays and him and Ms. Jones come to the ring.

Cat: "Okay cut my music, before I get started I got one thing I want to tell all you fans out here, all you fans at home and everyone, Mark Madden I hate your fat ASS!!! I see a lot of signs out there, you people want to see The Cat dance? I'll tell you, I'm the only man in the world that can do this dance, I got the greatest moves in the world, HIT MY MUSIC!"

When he made that comment about Madden, I was dying with laughter.

Ms. Jones tries to do Cat's moves. She should be able to, use used be a Nitro Girl for god's sake!

Cat: "I'm going to tell you something Sanders, this place ain't big enough for two commissioners, I'm going to end it tonight, I'm going to kick you're ass all over this place, and then I'm going to send you home, so get out here right now! Who the hell is this guy?"

Mike Sanders is out with his Cruiserweight title.

Sanders: "I don't have a lot of time for your crap tonight, as you saw they were loading one of my boys in the ambulance with a broken ankle. You think you can go toe to toe with me, but if you want to hook it up at Halloween Havoc in a match I call Snap and Whip, I'll snap your neck and whip you're ass."

Cat: "If you beat me, you can have total control. I'm going to smoke you're ass at Halloween Havoc"

Sanders: "Speaking of grass…how about that trailer park trash hooch you got there?"

Um, and what the hell does grass have to do with Ms. Jones??

Cat: "I woulda had your mom out here, but we couldn't fit her ass through the entrance!" I swear I about fell off the couch here folks, I died of laughter.

Sanders brings Kronik out and tells them to kick Cat's ass, but Boringberg's music hits, and Boringberg comes out through the crowd, Kronik comes back down to the ring.

Boringberg: "HEY BOYS, OVER HERE!"

Sanders: "Let me tell you something, these people didn't pay enough money to see this happen tonight, this isn't going to happen, because you know Kronik is all about the money so this isn't going to happen, guys let's go"

Bryan Clark: "You can hire us, but you don't own us! The fact is in Las Vegas we got a chance to make some big money, and were going to do it the right way, Kronik is about breaking necks and cashing checks!"

Excuse me, but isn't the Acolyte's gimmick beating people up for money??

Brian Adams: "The problem with this business isGOLDBERG, you are NOT indestructible, and if you think you can beat both of US, you're not only being unrealistic, but it's a dang insult. So here's what'll happen at Halloween Havoc GOLDILOCKS Were going to take your career, your undefeated streak and a nice bowl of porridge and shove it straight up your ass!

I hope they do beat Boringberg up. I'm sick to death of him.

Boringberg: "SHUT YOUR MOUTH BOYS! You're both going down, because BOTH OF YOU'RE ASSES ARE NEXT!!!"

**rolls eyes** His ego is so damn big. I hope Kronic crushes him into ity bity pieces.

Match between Booker and Douglas. Pretty even. Torrie hands Douglas a chain (hmm, handcuffs, chains, what next Torrie?? Whips??) Kidman runs to the ring He gets up on the apron and tries to choke Douglas from behind. Douglas knocks him off, he goes flying into Midajah (who looks ALMOST as good as Tylene), who is at the announce table with Steiner. Steiner pounds away on Kidman at ringside. Konnan runs down to help Kidman and gets attacked by Jeff Jarrett. At this point I'm bored. Booker wins.

Ric Flair's theme blares through the arena and Tony goes nutso. Ric comes and sits at the announce table. Son David is in the ring. Boringberg music blares through the arena. He gets in the ring and demolishes David.

Damn, gotta feel sorry for this boy. First off, he is in an angle in which he doesn't know who the father of Stacy's (his real life girl friend) baby is. He gets destroyed in the ring by the most overpaid, pompus guy in WCW, and he has the same haircut as his father! OH THE HUMANITY!

Backstage, Jarrett, Steiner, and Midajah are being interviewed by Pam. Midajah says some stuff in spanish. Steiner calms her down and challanges Kidman to a match for that night on Nitro.

What is god's name is that thing that Steiner wears on his head?? Does he think that looks good? He looks like some English Lawyer from the year 2020.

Stenier comes to the ring with Midajah..He too rips on Austraila. I guess the heels in WCW have no clue how to get heel heat other than ripping on the city/town/state/country that they are in. At least the heels in WWF say different things to get heat. Oh wait, I forgot, Russo is writng the script. No wonder.

Kidman comes to the ring. Short match. Steiner beat the crap out of him and them put him in the Steiner Recliner.

Konnan comes to the ring and does his "ROWDY ROWDY" speech, gets a decent pop. Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring. Match is on. Tygress tries to get involved by attempting a bronco buster on Jarrett. Torrie and Douglas come in the ring and attack her. Jarrett goes to hit Konnan with guitar, hits Tygress instead. Konnan stares at his fallen Filthy Animal member, and recieves The Stroke for his troubles. Jarrett picks up the win.

Team Canada, TYLENE, Misfits in Action, Harris Brothers, Awesome and Crowbar, Boogie Knights, Big Vito, Shane Douglas and Torrie, Kwee Wee and Paisley and Booker T come out as the Lumberjacks for the Main Event.

Orange Hair comes out with the Natural Born Thrillers and The NBT join the lumberjacks. Sting gets in the ring. There is fighting in the ring. All the Lumberjacks are fighting outside of the ring. This long boring ordeal ends with..A SCREWJOB! YES! RUSSO GAVE US ANOTHER SCREWJOB! WOW I AM SO SHOCKED! Jeff Jarrett hit Sting with a guitar, giving Nash the win. Is anyone suprised Please, I so hate WCW's main events.

Like hate?? Should I keep this up on a weekly basis? Yes? No? Let me know **grin**

Until next week....