Hello WCW fans, welcome to Nickey's Nitro Rant. Well, here we are, week number six. I am sorry to say that you will not hear me ranting anymore untill after the new year starts. I will be out of states for the holidays. Well, on with the show.
Nitro opens up with Tony welcoming everyone to WCW, along with Scott Tenay and Mark Madden. Oh God, Madden is back this week, gag.
A high flying match between Yang, and his former Jung Dragons stable member, Jamie Noble. A fast paced match between both men. Even came out to even the odds after Leia "I stripped in ECW" Meow hit a hurracrana on Noble on the outside. But before Evan got involed, Two Count come out and attack Noble on the outside. Noble hit a top rope mamuver and hit both members of Two Count on the outside. He climbs back in the ring, and Yang gets the roll up and the win. Two Count clinbs in the ring and they, along with Yang gangs up and Noble. Evan runs in and helps Noble clear the ring.
We see Lugar leave Flair's office.
The CEO Ric Flair comes to the ring and looks at the announce table and says "Schiavone, you were amazing last night, all night long!" (SOMEBODY DO A SLASH FIC ABOUT THIS PLEASE!!!!) He then says that if Lex beats Booker T then the PPV he has against Boringberg will be a World Title Match.
The Chosen One stands on the entrance way, and says he has an announcemet. He says that he is father of Stacy's baby. Psycho boy comes out. He demands Jeff tell him where and when. Jeff tells a long alborate story about Stacy coming to his room wearing nothing but a teddy and carrying a shopping back. He says when he woke up the morning she wasn't in the room, but the shopping bag was. David asks what was in the bag. Jarett said that the bag was full of shit, just like his story. He then hits David with a guitar. As he starts to head to the back, out come Buff Bagwell. They battle across the stage until Buff pushes Jarett off the stage.
Big Sexy Orangehair Nash is in the arena. He tells Fit Finley to tell the Thrillers that he has arrived and that he is not alone.
Pamela "I refused to job in a bikini contest, even thought I wasn't wearing a bilini and Tylene looked WAY better tham me" Paulshock interviews Team Canada with TYLENE, sho looks damn good Elix said he wasn't going to wrestle in the match he had with Duggan against Kee Wee and Meng, and that he has someone to take his place, Lance "Can I be serious for a moment" Storm. He goes on about the match, and as Team Canada gets ready to leave Tylene turns to Paulshock. "Pam, don't blame Canada, blame yourself." After she walked away, Pam reffers to her as a bitch. Ok WCW neds to fire Pam NOW! I have been reading on the newsboards that she might be let go, hopefully WCW will give me a nice Christmas gift and do just that.
Elix Skipper and Alex "Berlin" Wright team up to defend the tag titles that the Dancing Fools won last week in Germany at a PPV. Disco got injured and was not able to make it to Nito.
Purfect Event make their way to the ring. A good match beteen the two teams. All of the sudden, Kidman runs in, and while the ref isn't watching, gives Wright the Kidman Krusher. Stasiak covers Wright for the pin and the Perfect Event are the new WCW tag champions.
Another Jimmy Hart infomercial is shown **yawn**
Pam "Bitchtroll from hell" Paulshock is interviewing Meng, Kee Wee THIS MAN NEEDS A SLASH FIC!" and Paisley. Kee Wee says that he is not wrestling in his match with Meng against Storm and Duggan. Damn! No catfight between Tylene and Paisley tonight :( He then brings his replacement to the interview. General Rection. He has a few things to stay about Storm. Meng YANKS the mic out of Pam's hand. HAHA, bitch, you desereved that! HAHA! He then speaks, but I have NO clue what he is saying, then the group leaves.
In his office, Sanders tells Jindrak that tonight, since Kee Wee backed out of his tag match, that Kee Wee will be next.
In his lockerrroom. Reno is attacked with a kendo stick by Big Vito.
At ringside Dillenger and the rest of the security staff are having trouble with the battledome guys. God, is this Battledome/WCW war still going on??
The blond bitch is interviewing Wright in the back. Mad about losing the belts, blah blah.
Rick Stiener comes to the ring with the Battledome belt. I care so little about this war. I have a suitcase to pack.
I go to my romm, open my closet FULL of clothes, and low and behold I have NOTHING to wear on vacation!
I come back in the room, NBT is on. Reno tells Sanders he wants a match against Big Vito.
MIA are shown in the back, Rection tells them to "take no prisoners". God I wish Tylene was back with the MIA, I'm still not used to the ultimate blond bombshell being a heel.
A wolf's howl is heard as Big Sexy Orange Hair makes his way to the ring. He climbs in and says that he a an "old, close friend" to watch his back. The announcers are acting surprised, like they don't have damn clue who it is Yeah, right, like they don't read the damn newsboards. Shit, it's no damn surprise it's DDP, it's been all over the newsboards for OVER THREE DAYS! You have to be an idiot to NOT know. He says that he wants a tag title shot.
NBT make their way to the ramp, diaglouge is exchanged. Sanders says something about the audience sucking Cheese Whiz, and Nash asks him if he got that from Cheap Heat 101. Sanders says Nash is SOL. They all climb in the ring and attack Nash. DDP runs him and helps clear the ring. Perfect Event left their belts in the ring and Nash and Page pick them up.
Pam Paulshock is interviewing Lex. God will someone take this untalented bitch off TV already!? In discust and protest I leave the room to get some Coke (the pop, not the drug)
I come back, Lance Storm and Jim Duggan with TYLENE make way down the ring. They climbs in the ring and Lance makes comments on how lomg it has taken us to elect a President. God, to think I agree with Storm on something.
Meng makes his way to the ring, then Rection. Nice match, I think. I am too busy staring at Tylene! She looks DAMN GOOD tonight! Rection and Meng pick up the win when Elix tries to interfere and he gets beat down by the rest of MIA. I have to ask, Why didn't Major Gunns get involved tonight?? That would made the match totally awesome!
Jarrett is seen talking to Shane "I'm a Franchise in my on mind" Douglas in the back.
Everyone favorite Glitter Man, Kee Wee (SLASH FIC, PLEASE!!!!! I'm begging now ladies! Serioiiusly!), makes his way to the ring with Paisley. They climb in the ring and Boringberg's music plays. Time to go find my dress shoes to put them in my suitcase.
I come back thirty seeconds later and Flair is announcing that it is now Sander's turn. I guess poor Glitter Man lost.
Boringberg grabs Sanders. What else do I need to pack?
I come back another thirty seconds later, Boringberg won both matches. WOW! WHAT A SHOCK!
Now Booker T is being interview by The Bitchtroll from Hell. I leave the room in protest.
Shane "I'm a Franchise in my Own Mind" Douglas makes his way to the ring with Torrie. He grabs the mic and runs his mouth.
Buff Bagwelll makes his way to the ring. He climbs in the ring, and match begins. Pretty even match between both men. Torrie keeps inferring. Buff goes to the top, and Jarrett comes down and and grabs Buff's pants. The Cat and Ms. Jones comes down and take care of Jarrett. Buff gets the win, and after the match The Cat and Ms. Jones come in and dance while Buff watches.
Sirens blare through the ring as Steiner makes his way to the ring and gets on the mic. He alks about what he did to Sting at Thunder, says the Flair is trying screw him out of his title match coming up this Sunday at the PPV, and says Booker will be going down at Mayhem. He then sits at the announce table.
Lex Lugar comes to the ring.
Booker T comes to the ring. Nice match betwen the two men. BUT IT ENDS IN A SCREWJOB! YES! A SCREWJOB! Boringberg comes down and spears Lugar. Who is booking this shit?? Russo?? Booker T gets the win, then gets attacked by Steiner as Nitro goes off the air.
That folks, is Nitro for this week. I wish everyone a safe and happy holidays!